The Art of the First Look: Should You or Shouldn't You?
When planning your wedding day, one of the decisions you’ll likely come across is whether or not to do a first look. This moment—where you see each other privately before the ceremony—has become more and more popular over the years, and for good reason. But like most things about your day, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. As a photographer who values genuine connection, storytelling, and helping couples feel relaxed and fully present, I want to share some insight to help you decide what’s right for you.
As a New Jersey wedding photographer, I’ve captured countless wedding and first look moments. I can help you each step of the way, and make sure you get every precious photo of your big day! Before I dive in, let’s chat here to talk more about your wedding photography vision!
What Is a First Look?
A first look is a private moment before the ceremony where a couple sees each other for the first time on their wedding day. It’s quietly planned and photographed—just the two of you, with me capturing it from a distance without interrupting the moment.
It’s not about staging—it’s about creating space to pause, breathe, and connect before the day unfolds. Whether it brings laughter, tears, or stillness, it’s often one of the most meaningful parts of the day.
The Emotional Case
There’s something truly powerful about the emotions that come with a first look. For couples who value meaningful moments and want their wedding day to feel more like an experience than a checklist, this can be a really grounding part of the day.
A first look gives you the opportunity to:
Be fully present with each other before the day speeds up.
Feel all the emotions without the pressure of an audience.
Say what you want to say without rushing or being overheard.
Calm those pre-ceremony nerves together, instead of apart.
I’ve photographed so many first looks where couples held each other tightly, wiped away tears, shared a quiet laugh, or even exchanged private vows. These moments become part of your story—not just how your day looked, but how it felt.
The Practical Benefits
A first look can make your wedding day feel easier, smoother, and more relaxed—especially if you want things to flow naturally without the pressure of a packed timeline.
Here’s why it’s such a game-changer:
More time together before the ceremony
Plenty of opportunity for portraits and couple photos—without the rush
You can capture most of your photos earlier, which means you won’t miss your cocktail hour (you paid for it—why not enjoy it?)
Better lighting for portraits earlier in the day
Less stress and fewer photo blocks after the ceremony
For couples who want both meaningful moments and beautiful images, a first look creates the space to have both. You get more quality time together, more time with your guests, and a smoother flow to the day. It’s a win-win!
Why Some Couples Choose Not to Do a First Look
While a first look has its benefits, it’s not for everyone—and that’s perfectly okay! Here are some reasons someone might choose to skip a first look:
You feel more connected to a traditional timeline and the symbolism of seeing each other down the aisle.
You want that emotional, shared moment with all your guests watching.
You enjoy the anticipation and build-up throughout the day.
You prefer taking portraits after the ceremony instead.
You feel most present experiencing everything in real time, as it naturally unfolds.
Ultimately, it’s your day—there’s no wrong choice. I’m here to help guide you either way and make sure your timeline supports whatever feels most meaningful to you.
Alternatives to a First Look
If a first look doesn’t feel right, there are still meaningful ways to connect before the ceremony:
First Touch – Hold hands without seeing each other.
Letter Exchange – Read heartfelt notes privately.
Private Vow Reading – Share vows without a full reveal.
Parent or Wedding Party First Looks – Sweet, emotional moments with loved ones.
Documented Getting Ready Moments – Capture the anticipation separately.
You can still have intentional moments without seeing each other—whatever fits your style and feels most meaningful.
Finding What Feels Right: A Quiet Moment Before “I Do”
Whether you choose a first look or wait for the ceremony, what matters most is that your day feels true to you. There’s no right or wrong—just what fits your vision. I’m here to support you, guide you through the process, and capture your day in an honest, creative, and meaningful way.
If you’re looking for a photographer who values real moments, fine art storytelling, and a thoughtful, guided experience—let’s connect. I shoot with both digital and film (more on this here!) to capture your day in a way that feels honest and timeless. Reach out to start planning something meaningful, and follow along on Instagram for more tips, inspiration, and behind-the-scenes peeks.